Hey. here to blog. sumone told me to update. i wanted to update about today.
but not in a mood to. i always knew when im too happy, theres always sumthing which will spoil it. really.
just want to say that, i had lots of fun today. but not now, at night.
so yea.
i knew you for more than a year, but why must........it happen now?
why???????????? is there any answer to this question? why???
really, i want this friendship, like how they used to be.
i dun want it to just gone like that. you're the best and i really mean, the best.
i really dun wanna lose you as i alrd lost sumone in my life.
so anw, i really really really hope, our friendship will still be like how it used to be.

Sorry for not updating. i feeling kinda lowlow now. but i feel like posting.
today is sunday. im missing sumone ): idk why so sudden. but seriously.
you know. i woke up this morning. was hoping for sumone msg. but its someone elses msg. how sad..
seriously. i may make the wrong decision. but its already happen. and i already promise i'll get back to you.
you know i never told you this before. but im writing it. no one could replace you. sighh.
went online at 9. i think? chat with etaine. and yea. till 330 , rite ?
yea, after i went offline, just den i realise theres someone im missing. really.
sumone i used to chat with, for 5 hours. that suddenly comes to mind.. ARG.
and from there. i seriously try to put it all behind. i cant. tried singing for siyan. i cant. feels like somthing bothering me. seriously.
tried making a cover. and i cant sing! ARG. whats with me ):
etaine&siyan. thanks for being there(':

heyheyhey. long time never update (: hahah.
wanted to blog yesterday. but very very tired.. so i 'll blog now, about yesterday. okay.
so actually, went to changi for picnic / fishing. haha. damn funn. and funny. so yea.. bro and uncle fishing. hours later, the sky very dark. faster off laptop, and put things in tent. den rushed to shelter. wth, i nvr wear shoe cuz no time, so i run barefooted to the shelter! ouch. step alot of super sharp things. ouch. okay so it get really heavy. and im super wetttttttt ): asked all younger cousins go in tent, plus auntie. me and bro outside hel pcover the stuff, and take care. 1hr down there, sort of under the rain. awhile later when the rain not really heavy, i run to car. hahah! very cold lehh. okay, reached aunts house bathed den dinner. aunt wanted watch movie alot. so she on 2012. wah watch 3 times alrd -.- okay so just watch again.. den halfway, i headache, and really head spinning, fell asleep on the sofa. my aunt really watching movie siaaaa. on volum until so loud! haha. okay. reached home..ard 10. i on laptop. tot wanna check sumthing just awhile, den that etaine talked to me! hahahahaha! talked to her until 1am sia. pfft.
okay slept late. cuz i wan still youtubing -.-
okay so todayyyyyyyyyyy! wahh, very fun (Y) alot of things happen. i just super high today. Own alot ppl esp SIYAN! hahahaha! hers the funniest. hmmm dont feel like talking alot about today. just very fun! hahahaha. blog someother day! cuz i hafta rest! for tmrw.
bye.

hey suppp. here to update. haha. wanted to update ytd, then idk what, i go navigate awy from here, and forget to return. i was playing with the laptop lying down. fell asleep with the laptop on me. wooo, lucky never drop. so anyway.
yesterday, was quite okay for me.. first period was Music! we quite early cuz mr yap didnt hold us back. so morgan wanted to go water cooler. den faizuddin, raidah and me followed. hahah, u know. we 4... hahahah. rounding uh. what else. so yea, mr le was like, eh where u going? toilet. den dk what he say. den we walk straight, mr lee went down by the other staircase, we went down by the other, den saw him. HAHAH! he was like, " where u all going" all of us ready laughing, cuz was shocked when we saw him.. den i was like we going watercooler what, 3rd floor water cooler, cooler den the 4th floor. hahahaha . okay take our time. den reach comp lab, got mock test. hahah, funny. after mock test, did typesetting. after that, MT. For the first time, we late for mt! hahaha, we usually early. but the DNT students reached first. so surprised. hahaha den sumthing happen. dun want mention. oh i very bored listen to mr murad talking and his stories. played with amirul iTouch. hahahah. the tap thingy. first try! alot sia! hahah. 258 i think? hahahah den after that, we cannot wait for recess. esp ibrahim-.- amirul faked the bell, den we get to go early. HAHAHA cute. okay recess ate sandwitch. joked around..
after recess, music! HAHAHAHAH!! okay very funny okay. cant take it. oh , nabeela fell. everybody was laughing their heads off! hahaha, esp connie, and me. hahaha cannot take it. laughed all the way. i was pretty high. after music. science. i think i was too tired, keep shouting and screaming, i kept quiet during science. HAHAHA really quiet. just listen to mr chin go through answers. den after science, normal me. i kinda keep quiet also during english. pay attention. hahaha . after english. sch end. went long john with siyan celest raidah and connie. eat eat, talktalk, den walked back to sch.etaine asked for clam chowder. didnt buy cuz long que. service quite slow. so just told her, i didnt buy. so after that, connie went home. suyan lion dance. raidah did maths with mr chew, i went out with nadiah. waited for charmaine, tot she want go imm, but she n money-.- so i accompany nadiah to causeway, charmaine went home (:
in the train, nadiah v kp :P dunnoe how to use my phone. tsk. hahah reached causeway, went up to banquet. accompany her eat (: i never eat. so talktalk. den she want go lib ? but i lazy, i bus-ed home. 20 mins, fast eh :D hahahaha.
okay so, today! went to sch with connie and siyan. was in same train with 4 diff ppl, all diff door. hahahah. do yea, reached sch straight to quadrangle. joked. oh, actually i didnt want go to sch, but i afraid sit at home will be so boring. haha, so just go. first period was science, mr chin never come. 2nd period english, winnie tan nvr come, but ms koh did. hahhaha oral. actually before that was kinda bored. went to toilet dunnow how many times. den went 3rd floor with raidah. den cupcakes recess den can take ): i disturbed raidah, she beat me until backbone pain): oh did oral, my reading was okay. but my conversation sucks. oh ya. truth or dare at the back of the class. hahahahah. funny seh.okay. so i my stomach veryvery pain until i cannot take it. told mskoh i want go home. raidah again accompany me. baik rite. hahaha. take form. den went back to class to take bag. hahahaha oh ya. i dunnoe why i keep laughing and smiling. eh my stomach really v pain but im laughing ?!hahaha ms koh : can you atleast look like youre really sick?" ahahaha. okay so collect cupcakes from adriana den cab-ed home. taxi fare; $18.40. the uncle damn drunk can. i can really die just now. reached home, bathed again. wow bathed 2 times in the morning. so yea, slept after that. 3 hours ? yeaa, woke up, eat. hmmmm
nothing much alrd. i think this post is quite long. and i wanna end it. hahaha
kay so bye

i feel like posting.. yea.
i feel kinda sad here.. but... i really want to put my sadness aside first! but he is the one who always making me sad.. well, its very complicated now. seriously.
you always said, i wont talk to you, so you wont feel sad.. but you're always the one....always the first to msg me. sighh. you keep saying "okay we wont talk" but you msged me first. but do you know that, when everytime you say "okay we wont talk" i feel even more sad? sighh..
and so, on 28th of april, sumone asked me to be his gf, i was pretty shocked and i was thinking that, maybe its your plan, and you're asking that someone to asked me.. i keep thinking that. i ignored that msg, well not really, i told that someone i wasnt ready, and days after, my thinkings are RIGHT. yea, so this was what you said "okay, the truth is that...i didnt want to leave you.. i really really love you.. but HE was single and he still love you.. so i give you to him.. i will do anything to make him happy.. and you.. i dont care im hurt or what..i just want to see you happy with him... so please accept him... sorry i have to let you go): i love you):"
thats what you said.. you will do anything to make him happy?? what about me? if youre hurt, i am too. gahhh. i really dont know what to say..
and den you msg me again.. " i will be sad for my whole life... sad to see someone i love, love someone else"
sighh, im really speechless. people do give in, but they dont give in their gf. plz la. common sense. you tried to convince me to love him.. you cant. you tried to promise me things just to make me happy, does'nt work. you tried everything, but it never make me happy. cuz the decision you just made, to let go of me for your bestfriend, is the stupidest.
whatever it is, i still love you ):